Dear Muslims,

I am sincerely sorry, on behalf of my country that actually gives a shit about separation of church and state, who also believes in the freedom of religion, RE: All Religions, and who also understand that of the 1.6 BILLION practicing Muslims worldwide that only 0.00006625% are considered “extremist” (about 106,000). I am sorry that we don’t also recognize that of the 3.3 billion people that consider themselves as Christians, an unknown amount are considered “extremist” only because no one can be bothered with calculating exactly how many are practicing the religion to the “extreme”. 

There are numerous factions in Africa and the middle east that are practicing Christianity to the extreme, and there is a strong vocal minority in the US that are ignorantly practicing extremist Christianity. And to be completely transparent, there are even more people, even Muslims, that are practicing extremist Christianity considering Islam derives many extreme Christian principles. Don’t believe it? Try using the internet superhighway.

More than ever, I am sorry that some people use extremism as a means to ethnocentrism and xenophobia. Islam and Christianity are currently in the running for the most followers, and in the world of theism, this is a real threat. For the rest of the major population that understand that extremist theism is an extreme minority, we understand that it is only the threat to those that practice extreme theology.

More importantly, I am sorry for the state that extreme Christian theologists place such a burden on peaceful Islam theologians. You see, people with a strong foundation in Christianity in America and abroad view Islam as a threat because of the actions of very, very few. If I were a practicing Muslim, I would be very fearful of these extremist Christians. Some people are brought up with staunch religious principles that denounce any other religion, which is what we see now from both extremisms.

Moreover, I am sorry that we have used our power and influence as a powerful nation to promote such a polarization of religious persecution in spite of our constitutional demands that all religions are created equal. I am sorry that we constantly support unrest in the heart of your nations in order to support more capitalistic nationalities. I am sorry that our leaders decided it was a good idea to attack a strong middle eastern nation with the false premise that they were a threat to our safety, and in turn created such instability in your nations that extremism was formed.

You see, when we invaded Iraq on the false premise of radicalization towards the west, we created a strong foundation for Islamic extremism. We conquered Iraq, and disbanded their military. The members of that military, that were once allied with Saddam Hussein, were suddenly without a job, and without a country. These people, who western nations and allies ignored, flocked to extremist factions that would later become the Islamic State. Whether they be in Syria or Libya, these people became part of a faction that denounced Western ways that had alienated them.

The allied nations of the West forced military factions of the middle east to band together and retaliate against the forces that created them – forced them from their homes to ally with a force without borders, without a country, which is why we have a war on terrorism and not a war on a nation. Much like the extreme sanctions we placed on Asian countries in world war 2, we place unreasonable expectations on those displaced by the gulf war, Iraq war, and the war in Afghanistan.

I am sorry that we forced such extremism because those that were displaced now find comfort in extremist factions. They have nothing to lose – they can lose no country, and therefore have no interest in promoting peace. Yes their extremist ways are antithetical towards humanity, and human progress, but they have no choice other than to attack, and to strive towards controlling their own nation. Our inability to allow any society to live within their own means without violating what we believe to be humane has created this instability, and hostility towards those that hold similar, albeit more peaceful beliefs.

Understand that the unrest in what is supposed to be a civilized culture is that of an extremely vocal minority – one of which is grasping onto their last dying breath. For the last push of a civilization facing a perceived theological threat is that of extreme proportions, of which do not represent the majority but that of a very few that cannot understand the concept of cohabitation.

Please understand that this unrest is fleeting, and that with time, as with everything else, all will change for the betterment of mankind. For every one person with ethnocentric xenophobia, there are ten people that logically understand a distinguish between religion and cultural acceptance.

SUBJECT: Annotated Bibliography

As a reminder my ARP studies the relationship between gender disparity in STEM related fields of study in the academic and professional environments with advertisements that show a gender divide for toys that integrate the fundamentals of STEM. My primary source is an early advertisement for an Erector Set, which employs fundamentals of mathematics, physics, and several areas of engineering for the user to construct a workable object. My hypothesis is that the advertisements had failed to evolve throughout the years to include girls as a target audience for the toy, which has led to a loss of interest for adolescent girls to pursue a degree in a STEM field and subsequently an oversaturation of males in post-secondary and professional fields of study, but that recent developments in gender neutral advertisements have created a positive trend to the contrary.

ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY

Effect of Erector Set Advertisements on the Gender Divide in Interest in STEM Related Fields of Study.

English 1100.01, The Ohio State University, October 8, 2015

Michael Kruse

Litzler, Elizabeth, Lorah, Julie, and Samuelson, Cate. “Breaking it Down: Engineering Student STEM Confidence at the Intersection of Race/Ethnicity and Gender.” Research in Higher Education : Journal of the Association for Institutional Research 25 Jan. 2013: 810-832. Springer Link. Web. 21 Mar. 2014.

This peer-reviewed article conducted a study on the confidence of STEM confidence in post-secondary education by race and gender. The authors found that women were less confident than men in their respective STEM majors. While this does not provide a quantitative measure of gender disparity in STEM fields, it does provide insight into how confident women are in their STEM academic abilities, and what may attribute to this, including a “lack of role models and limited encouragement” (814). Additionally, there is a wealth of resources within the article to further explore the factors that lead to lower confidence of Women in STEM fields.

Sadler, Philip, et. al. “Stability and Volatility of STEM Career Interest in High School: A Gender Study.” Science Education 20 Jun 2011: 411-427. Wiley Periodicals. Web. 23 Jan 2012.

This peer-reviewed article studies the interest that girls have in STEM related fields of study throughout high school. The article mentions the general interest in STEM related fields in elementary and middle school students which may be of use to my ARP, but its focus is the decline in interest in STEM fields for adolescent girls in high school. This statement in particular: “Female students may still experience fewer opportunities or feel less welcome in science-related clubs and activities” (424) is of importance to my ARP.

Educational Attainment: CPS Historical Time Series Tables. Census. United States Census Bureau, 20 Jan 2015. Web. 08 Oct 2015.

The US Census Bureau holds some of the most complete sets of data for several metrics. Specific to my ARP is the educational attainment by gender over time. This source is of great use as it provides both summary and raw data of educational attainment of women compared to men from 1940 to 2014. As my ARP is focused on ads beginning in the early and mid 1900’s, this information will be useful to determine the trend of participation of women in secondary and post-secondary education. While this information does not include specific fields of study, it will help to show variance of participation from women to men in post-secondary education in the past, and the trends of such participation over the last 74 years. There may be a correlation between participation of women in post-secondary education and participation of women in STEM related fields of study.

Olsen, Randy. “Percentage of Bachelor’s degrees conferred to women, by major (1970-2012).” Randal S. Olsen. Wordpress, 14 Jun 2014. Web. 08 Oct. 2015.

 

This site contains articles published by Dr. Randy Olsen from the University of Pennsylvania Institute for Biomedical Informatics. This particular article examines the trend of degrees awarded to women from 1970 to 2012. This information will be useful for my ARP in comparing the participation of women in post-secondary education, and interest in STEM related fields, to the STEM related degrees awarded to women over a large period of time.

Another mass shooting and another wave of arguments about how to prevent the next inevitable mass shooting is all the rage this past week. There have been some seriously ignorant insinuations that the President doesn’t care about American Heroes that stop shootings (as evident by the meme below)

despite his invitation of the Americans that stopped the shooter on the train in Europe (but that wasn’t America, so who cares, right?). The President only cares about inviting young bright minds that were wrongfully arrested for bringing a clock to school. Oh and also that kids name was Mohamed, further cementing the “fact” that Obama is a socialist Muslim. I can’t really blame the authorities (school and police) in the case of Mohamed – I mean with their extensive knowledge in IED’s, coupled with the fact that middle school terrorism is rampant in this country, why take the risk? Well, I mean they took the risk of what they thought was a bomb by not immediately evacuating the school, or taking it away from anybody it could potentially hurt, but they REALLY thought it was a bomb. Their bad I guess. I’m just kidding, I can blame them, and I will. Also, this guy was in the hospital for about a day before this meme was generated. Gotta be on top of your game, Obama!

Then there’s this shitty meme.

Claiming that we protect so many things and people with guns – but not our children. I mean, apart from the standing police force that is tasked with protecting each community, of course. Also, who is the “we” that protects banks, office buildings, congressmen, factories, and celebrities? Well I suppose that the secret service and Capitol Hill police protect congress and the President, but that’s a separate armed force that are protecting against seemingly constant and credible threats. I suppose the other institutions hire armed guards to protect them – but do you know how much they make? Is it hero salary? What kind of training do they have?

Regardless, it’s inaccurate to say we don’t protect kids. Many schools have a resource officer, but apparently that’s not enough. Do we need to put sharpshooters on the roof and patrol the hallways with a platoon of armed mercenaries? I know that the weapons industry would love the extra income that comes with arming a squad for every school in America, but who’s going to pay for that? Probably those damn crackhead poor people on food stamps. All of this is irrelevant though. People who commit mass shootings do not pick places based on their vulnerability. They pick places because they have some sort of emotional vendetta that is specifically tied to that place.

Anti-gun law proponents decry gun free zones and claim this is the source of the mass shootings, despite the source literally being the person doing the shooting. In this most recent case, Umpqua Community College was not a gun free zone. There are many cases of shootings or robberies involving guns in places where guns are not only allowed, but in high abundance. Just google “robberies at gun stores” and you will be surprised at the number of articles that come up. A lot of these are successful – some even occurred during normal business hours where the owner was killed. Now when I hear that “criminals will always find a way to get a gun” perhaps this is why. Alternatively, there are many gun free zones that are never targeted – hospitals, public parks, bars and restaurants (and when it happens at bars, it’s usually in the parking lot involving a drunken, intimate dispute), libraries, and gyms.

“The solution is to add more guns” is common rhetoric. It’s interesting, that after a mass shooting, which is all too common these days, there’s almost as much support for guns than there is support for stricter gun control measure. I don’t know if it is genuine concern for those that are vulnerable to attack or genuine fear that gun owners will have less buying and owning power of firearms, but it’s unwarranted commentary. No actual legislation has been proposed, or if it has, had any luck passing congress for national gun control, so why are there preemptive opponent voices?

The US leads the world in gun ownership per capita – at nearly 89 guns per 100 residents. It also leads the industrialized world in gun related deaths per capita, and ranks 13^th worldwide. More people are killed by guns in this country than countries considered far more dangerous and impoverished than ours. Is more guns really the solution to lowering the amount of gun related deaths? Do we arm everybody or just some people and put them in charge of being the hero? I’ve heard we want to arm teachers – do they then earn a hero salary or do we expect them to teach the future of our country and then die for them when the time comes? People with concealed carry permits are more likely to shoot themselves or someone else accidentally than stop a mass attack. If everyone had a gun attached to their hip would it make us safer? Imagine a fight breaks out at a party, and instead of everybody punching each other, bullets are flying.

You can have your guns, but don’t pretend like you have them for protection – you love guns. You love firing them, hunting with them, collecting them. There is not a constant threat against you and your family unless you did something pretty awful to piss someone off that might not have all of their screws attached in their brain, because shooters don’t prey on the weak – they are fueled by vengeance.

What Nation Should the US Support the Most?

The United States of America has long prided itself as a global leader in economic prosperity, security, and freedom, and regards itself as a model that the rest of the world follows. As a global leader, the US has an obligation to encourage and help other countries that aren’t as prosperous as the US through financial aid and military intervention to remove extreme regimes that oppress their citizens.

The US foreign policy aims to bring as many nations to a level of economic force so they are able to contribute positively to the global economy. This includes stabilizing a country by reducing violence, mortality rates, and poverty.

There is one country in particular that the US has failed at attaining this goal. The country in question has high rates of infant mortality, child poverty, violence, and incarceration. All figures are from sets of data recorded through 2013, as this was the most complete set of data to compare this country to the rest of the world:

-In this country, the infant mortality rate is 6.0, compared to the global average of 3.4 – nearly 1.8 times greater than the global average.

-In this country, 16 million children are in poverty, which is 22% of all children, and 7% of the population. This is compared to 400 million in total globally, which is 21% of all children, and 5.5% of the global population.

-In this country, the total crime index is at 53.44, compared to the median index of 42.95. This country ranks 31 out of the 188 countries in which data was analyzed in crime - meaning it is the 31st most susceptible country for crime.

-In this country, nearly 1% of its total population is incarcerated, compared to the global average of 0.0046%. Additionally, this country will see 50% of their prison population recidivate – i.e. reenter the prison population within three years.

-Finally, during the entire existence of this country, it has been at war nearly 96% of the time.

On paper this country seems like an impoverished, dangerous, war torn place. This is the kind of country that the US needs to support. Fortunately, the US doesn’t need to go very far, because the country I speak of is the United States of America.

donald trump is not an appropriate leader

This will be the only thing I ever say about donald trump ever. You will notice I did not capitalize his first initial in his name, this was not a mistake, he is not a proper noun. dt, as I will refer to him from now on, is less than a carnival sideshow. He is not meant for politics, he is not meant for celebrity status, and he is not meant for an American.

donald trump does not want to be president. He wants the title of president. dt has the entitlement affliction, in which he believes he is entitled to mass superiority. If you don’t know the origins of dt, he was born into wealth, given a wealthy education, and provided with capital in order to begin his empire. At no point did he ever earn his initial wealth. He knows nothing about poverty, nor does he know about the excruciating experience of attaining the “American dream”.

The Presidency is not something that is respected by dt. He feels it is a position of power, something he constantly pursues, despite any other previous accomplishment. dt will never be satisfied, and it would not stop at the presidency.

The first thing we need to notice is that dt is performing flawlessly in his trek to the throne. Yes, if he becomes president he will regard himself as a king, despite the unconstitutionality of it. People want a president that is unlike any politician in office, which is evident by the poor approval rating of congress. The more dt pisses off other nominees and congressmen and women, and judges, and media outlets, the more voters will regard him as an outlaw – a renegade that the country “needs”. Make no mistake, if he becomes president, the country will suffer immensely.

Contrary to my previous claim, the executive branch has the least amount of power out of the three branches of government. Congress can override vetoes, the Supreme Court can override executive orders; even if congress hates the president, the country can survive, which was designed by the founders.

However, we are a country of image. We are supposed to be the most powerful country in the world and we demand respect from the countries we support, and we demand fear from the countries we dislike. The presidency is the face of America. It’s tremendously dangerous to elect someone that is incredibly disingenuous and egotistical. The presidency is not a place to advertise the immense disrespect for immigrants, nor is it a place to ignorantly place claims on other nations.

The executive branch holds most power in foreign relations. A person who holds such contempt of foreign nations is not an effective leader. We may be the most powerful nation in the world, but we cannot be a nation that regards every other nation as inadequate, especially given the evidence that we are, in fact, inadequate.

We are a great nation, but not in the sense we all believe. We are great in the sense of societal magnitude. We are number 1 in incarceration, gun deaths, childhood poverty, and adult poverty compared to other developed nations. We lack the direction to provide families with the support they need to raise their children. We lack the direction to ensure that everyone has a chance to experience the “American dream”. dt is not the leader we need to accomplish these dreams.

dt is an embarrassment to America. Media outlets should not be giving credence to his campaign, because he doesn’t care about the 350 million Americans that make this country thrive. He is an embarrassment to America, and he would be an embarrassing president. However, there is only one person that would benefit from dt becoming president, and that is dt. The rest of us would perish in his egotistical, immodest character as the leader of our nation. I don’t expect him to win the presidency, but it is already embarrassing that he holds a large lead in the GOP primary.

I said before that he is running his campaign flawlessly. He is a champion of citizens than don’t want a career politician as president. The more politicians he pisses off, the more support he gains against those that despise politicians. This does not mean he is an effective choice for leader of our country.

We need a leader that champions the growth of at least the majority of Americans. We do not need a leader that champions the growth of their favorite constituents. We need a leader that shows the rest of the world that we are a cooperative economy, and an inclusive nation. dt is in it for his own self worth. He doesn’t care about the big picture.

I'm Running for President

Go home hair, you're drunk

Donald Trump entered the GOP presidential race today, assumedly naming his hair as his running mate. This brings the total nominees to 58 - 27 Republicans, 13 Democrats, 10 Independents, 4 Libertarians, 2 Constitutionalists, 1 Reformer, and 1 Green party.

All of these people think they have what it takes to lead a country of 325 million people while simultaneously doing their best to not piss off the rest of the world, and drop some freedom on yo ass if you ain't got no freedoms.

I'm 98% sure I'm smarter than all of these people, or at least all but maybe 2, so I should throw my proverbial presidential hat into the ring as well. I mean, I'm not 35 yet, the minimum age to run for president, but that didn't stop a Kenyan from serving two terms and a Canadian from running, so I think they are pretty lax on those rules nowadays. The only hurdle I may have is that I was born in Guam, which most of these nominees probably don't know is a US Territory and will probably think I'm Japanese or some shit.

So I’ll be running in some sort of party. Let’s call it, the Super Awesome Democracy party, or SAD for short. I’ll do some stuff, but pretty much my campaign slogan will be “If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true”.

My platform will be pretty cool I guess. Women will get to decide what to do with all their reproductive bits, because I mean, why the hell do old men with no medical experience think they know what the hell goes on down there. God knows they don’t know what to do down there. They’re probably like “oh my god what is this tiny penis like looking thing, I’m not gay so I’m just going to work around it”. It’s the clitoris, you idiot, and women like it to be touched. That’s why pure romance parties are a thing. Also women will make 20% more than men. This isn’t to make up for years of unequal pay, I just want women to pay for shit more often cause they got more money than I do. Gay people can get married, because they deserve the right to be as miserable as married straight couples. Also, they can adopt all the orphans they can handle, because as far as I know there are literally millions of orphans.

I’m going to switch our system of government to a democratic, technocratic meritocracy. Jesus that’s like 13 syllables so I’ll break it down. People who hold high offices will not only be elected (democracy), but they will only be elected based on their proven contributions to that area of expertise (meritocracy), and be of the brightest individuals in that field (technocracy). Seriously, no more electing a dude that thinks the world is 4000 years old and that Jesus rode dinosaurs to the science committee. We will have actual scientists in the science committee. We will have actual educators in the education committees. And dammit we will have actual doctors in whatever committee makes healthcare decisions.

Next, free higher education. How will we pay for this socialist endeavor? By dismantling another socialist program. You see, we take taxpayer money and give it to corporations as bribes to keep doing business in our country, ignoring the irony that if we didn’t give them that money, they would still do business here because they still need to sell shit. Additionally, we let big businesses pay smaller taxes for the same reason, reducing the federal government’s tax revenue. Also, states are constantly poaching business by dangling the proverbial carrot of tax breaks so they will move to their state – sure it adds jobs to that state, but it eliminates jobs in the other state. That’s not going to happen anymore. Business will pay their fair share of taxes or they can move over and let another person start a business that’s not going to be a greedy jerk. You see, we spend a lot of tax money, and potential revenue to invest in big businesses that don’t need investing. They are plenty profitable. So I’m going to take that money and invest it into our own citizens so that we can continue being the highly educated and innovated country we are (or should be). Also, no more student debt, and low barriers of entry for our poorer citizens, which means they will have more consumer confidence to buy stuff. Pretty sure that’s how a healthy economy works.

What else… Oh yeah, some of the hawkish candidates think we need more money for our military. Hawkish is really just a term for politicians that want to drop freedom bombs on second and third world countries because freedom. Really, they just need to keep funding the war economy. A lot of their donors are wealthy business owners that make military equipment, and they need to give them a reason to make lots of money. Sure a lot of soldiers will die, but that’s worth it for the $20 million contract to make Kevlar vests for soldiers that won’t get them in time, because the project will end up going over budget and over schedule. So I’m going to reduce military spending to pre-9/11 levels. In the last 14 years, the defense budget doubled. I think we were still a force to be reckoned with in 2000, I think other countries will fear us just fine with the reduced spending. I mean, we spend more on defense than pretty much every country combined, I don’t think we need to keep pumping steroids into the proverbial biceps of military power (I used proverbial a lot). What’s that, Senator McCain? We need to protect ourselves against a potential attack from North Korea? They can’t even launch a missile that doesn’t comically flop into the ocean after 20 feet. Also, their ideal missile trajectory is to shoot it all the way across the pacific rather than over the northern pole which is like half the distance. I don’t think they have their shit together.

Free healthcare for everyone – you don’t even need insurance. We’ll probably pay for this with the reduced military spending. Canada figured it out, we can too. Do you want to be less capable of ensuring your citizens are healthy than Canada? Didn’t think so.

Naturalize immigrants from southern nations. I know, this is a controversial issue, but I’m going to be adding a whole lot of jobs. More jobs than we have workers, so we will need them. Also, it was the US drug war that pushed cartels further south into previously peaceful nations that are now nightmarish countries, which is why they are now trying to get into the US. We owe it to them to at least give them a new place to live, given the fact we totally screwed up their countries.

Buy an island and put Ted Nugent, Wayne LaPierre, and most other crazy open carry weapon nuts and people who shoot endangered species for fun on it. Then they can hunt each other and we won’t have to deal with it. Also, no for profit prisons, and no putting somebody that was busted with an ounce of weed in jail for 5 years. Seriously, it costs 40k a year per inmate and we are putting lots of people in there that will just recidivate because no one wants to hire a former inmate. The US has 5% of the worlds population and 25% of the worlds incarcerated population – pretty sure that’s not how it’s supposed to be. You’d think we were a nation of pure chaos with so many inmates, but nope, we just like to put non-violent offenders in jail for long periods of time so they can make shit on the cheap – mostly military gear. Indentured servitude at its finest – yay capitalism! Instead of incarcerating addicts, let’s send them to addiction counseling and solve the problem instead.

Women get like a year of maternity leave. They can split it with their husbands too. Babies need to be nurtured, yo. However, this may be an incentive for people to just pop out babies Duggars style so you will need to pass a test before you can become a parent. So we will need to get our scientists started on some sort of temporary, reversible sterilization. Yeah I know it goes against the whole “personal freedoms” thing, but come on, overpopulation is crazy high. Also have you ever seen that movie Idiocracy? This is about preservation of a healthy, intelligent human race. Also, we are banning the name “Cleetus”.

It's got what plants crave

Green energy for shits sake. We need it. No reason we can’t have solar panels, geothermal power, nuclear energy (ok, not so green but not so bad). I say we need to bring back Nikola Tesla’s “Tesla Coil” technology. You ever hear about it? Shit is crazy. What we do is put a metal rod down into the Earth’s surface, which transfers the natural resonance frequency into static electricity, which is then blasted into the Ionosphere, which is a electrically charged protective layer in Earth’s atmosphere. Then we can wirelessly transmit that energy into homes and buildings and such. It works, too. Tesls did this in like 1890. He was able to wirelessly power light bulbs a hundred feet away. It’s high voltage, so it can power a bunch of stuff, but low current so it’s not going to fry everything and everybody, also it’s alternating current, which is used by pretty much everything. The only reason we don’t have this now is because no one would invest in it, because they can’t make money off of it. Yay capitalism!

I will declare the “war on Christianity” over, because there is no war. Stop encroaching on other people’s right to freedom from religion and you won’t get so much pushback. No more refusing business on your “deeply held religious beliefs”. You don’t have deeply held beliefs, you just use that to make yourself comfortable for your irrational behavior. You are privileged to start and profit from a business in this country. If you want to refuse service to a minority, then you can kindly GTFO and make room for a responsible business owner. You clearly are not fit to own a business and take up market share. You can’t refuse birth control to employees because it’s against YOUR religion. Keep trying to say that it’s a deeply held religious belief while you are eating a bacon sandwich while getting a tattoo after your monthly haircut. You look ridiculous. Either practice your faith in full force or not at all, stop cherry picking. “Homosexuality is a Sin!” said the guy to his ex-wife. “Gay people will convert me to be gay!” – dude, you are already gay. “Birth control is abortion!” No, it’s pre-abortion. It’s about preventing fertilization, not terminating a pregnancy. If you promoted birth control there would be far less abortions. If you are against birth control, sex education, and safe sex, then you are promoting abortion, you stupid hypocrite.

I’m afraid of bridges, because they could collapse at any moment, so we’re going to go ahead and fix those. Also roads. Also all the other infrastructure.

Disband the Senate, or at least take away their lawmaking abilities. Think about it, a state with 1 million people has the same representation as a state with 30 million people in the Senate. That’s just unbalanced. The interests of the many, outweigh the interests of the very few. Sorry, but that’s just how it should be. We can compromise, but only so far. Life isn’t fair, we are all different, no one is going to get everything they want.

There’s probably some other stuff. Maybe build a wall at the Mexican border, but that wall goes around the entire state of Texas. Pretty much just give Mexico Texas. They can give us all the mariachi bands. Also give Canada back Justin Bieber and Ted Cruz. We will give them Alaska. Nothing against Alaska, it’s just why do we have a state up there? It should be part of Canada anyway. They also need to take back Ryan Gosling, he’s stealing all the pretty ladies. I’ll just wing foreign policy. How hard could it be?

All your women are belong to me