The second instance providing Individuals working in a business the right to refuse service based on their religious beliefs has popped up in Arizona. The first, as far as I know, being in Kansas where it was swiftly rejected by the Senate. In Arizona though, enough support for promoting the freedom of religion has propelled this bill through to the Governor. The legislation is simple: If a potential patron is seeking goods or services from your business and you find out they may have done something, or may be somebody, your religion doesn’t agree with then you have the right to refuse them service without fear of prosecution under anti-discrimination laws. The legislation is in large part in response to a florist in Washington who refused service to a gay couple seeking flowers for their wedding, and in response the gay couple sued the florist for discrimination. Opposition to the legislation say the bill will legalize discrimination, specifically against the LGBT community, while supporters claim the bill will “prevent discrimination against people who are clearly living out their faith”. Essentially, in order to prevent discrimination against religion, they must allow discrimination against everyone else.
There are a few absurdities with this logic. For starters, this law gives preference to people of religion. Apparently we haven’t hammered out that whole thing that not everyone observes a religion. If I want to refuse service because I don’t like the way you use your religion to alienate my fellow citizens, I am not protected by this law. There is already a widespread and completely unsubstantiated war on religion, according to the people who support such measures, so imagine what it would be like if business owners started refusing service to people because they don’t like Christianity? What’s the next level up from war? Whatever it is, that’s the kind of escalation we would face. Apparently, though, the LGBT community hasn’t been embattled enough in the war against homosexuality, so they can take a few more hits. I would agree that the LGBT community does have a thicker skin than religious zealots.
Next absurdity, and these are kind of going in order of my least to most favorite absurdities, is the economics of the whole thing. Not just overall economics, but business economics. If you are seriously going to start turning down business because you don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle, that’s just bad business. The people you just refused service are going to go straight to your competitor, they’re going to eat up your market share because they aren’t stupid at running a business, and you are going to go bankrupt. I imagine you will be incredulous and appeal to your community for compassion, but the reality is, you went broke because you turned down perfectly good business. That’s like expecting an entire community to feel bad for you and support you when you’re dying, and then they find out all you have to do is take some penicillin and you won’t be dying anymore. And, honest to god, if you claim that the reason you are going out of business is because people are discriminating against your religious beliefs, when you have been using those religious beliefs to discriminate against your patrons, I’m going to flip my shit. I don’t know what “flip my shit” actually means, but I have been saying it for a while now and it seems to be appropriate to a lot of ludicrous situations.
Final absurdity, and this is my favorite: If you are someone of deep religious values and feel you must avoid any interaction and transaction with people who you feel have threatened or are threatening the foundation of your religion based on their lifestyle choices, you either have a very weak faith, or you’re doing your religion wrong. Additionally, this legislation seems to be aimed specifically at the LGBT community, but it doesn’t put boundaries on the scope of discrimination you may exercise. If you choose to refuse service to homosexuals because the structural integrity of your faith is negatively affected by fabulous people, and if for whatever reason you start to condone their lifestyle by selling them something then you will face the wrath of your god, you must also refuse service to all other offenders. I’ve put together a small, convenient list for the deeply conservative Christians that will help you run your business into the ground by refusing service to religious offenders:
Before selling a potential patron anything, consider the following as it applies to your religion:
-Are they gay? This one is totally obvious (Probably about 20 different passages in the bible, or maybe none. Either way, this one is totally maybe in there because it’s recited several times in arguments against homosexuality. Funny thing – some passages claim “Man shalt not lieth with mankind as he does with woman kind” or some variation of that. It does not mention “Women liething with womankind” so lesbians are totally cool in the good book).
-Ensure that the husband of a married couple has worked about seven years for his wife’s father. If not, the bible might have something to say about that (Gen 29:14-30).
-Ask a married couple if the wife was a virgin before they got married. If not, then not only should you not serve them, you’re also going to have to round up your friends and stone her to death (Deuteronomy 22:13-21).
-Uh oh, they are married but one of them isn’t a Christian…. Sorry, no service for them (Genesis 24:3).
-If it’s obvious that this is clearly not their first marriage, poke around into their personal lives to be sure. After all, divorce is forbidden in the good book (Luke 16:18)
-HOLY CRAP – this dude just walked in with like 20 women who all appear to be boning him at home. Don’t worry, this is totally cool with God so go ahead and serve them (Genesis 6:1-22). It’s also cool if they’re slaves (Leviticus 25:44-46).
-Somebody just came in to your establishment on a Sunday after clearly having labored – don’t serve them. Wait, why are you working on a Sunday? Don’t serve yourself either, you heathen! It’s double bad if you were also going to serve him a ham sandwich (Exodus 31:14-15).
-This dude has like, a lot of tattoos. Not supposed to do that. Wait! There’s one of Jesus! Doesn’t matter (Leviticus 19:28).
-That’s a nice haircut you have there, nice and clean beard by the way. Waaaaait a second. Pretty sure there’s a line in the bible about that one, too (Leviticus 19:27).
-That overly emotional teenage girl just called her mom a bitch. You can serve the mom, but unfortunately you’re going to have to kill the daughter (Exodus 21:17).
-THAT SUIT IS A COTTON/POLYESTER BLEND! GET OUT OF HERE! (Leviticus 19:19)
-That dude Timothy from the bible has something against women who wear gold, braid their hair, or really dress themselves immodestly in any way. So if you see any of that shit going down on your watch, give them a swift boot out the door (1 Timothy 2:9).
-Another one from Timothy, who’s turning out to be a real douche: it’s religion-illegal for women to teach men. So… gonna have to kick out all of those female teachers. (Timothy 2:11)
-Oh, I’m sorry to hear that your brother died. What’s that? They didn’t have kids? You’re definitely going to have to impregnate her, or I’m going to have to go ahead and not serve you (Mark 12:19).
There are many more, I’m certain. And it’s not just Christianity. However, given the majority of people who identify as religious, and the fact that I have only heard Christianity cited in our legislative process, I’m pretty confident the people who utilize this law to their advantage will be the extremely conservative Christians that also claim the country was founded on their religion. I should disclaim that I am not against Christianity, or my Christian family and neighbors. You can be a good Christian without exercising the seemingly false interpretation and understanding of the bible.
Here’s the bottom line, though. This law may prevent you from being prosecuted by exercising your religion sanctioned discrimination, but there is no law against being persecuted for it. People will know you are discriminating, and they will not like it. There is nothing stopping them from spreading the word of your intolerant establishment, and the financial repercussions will be severe and sanctioned. Also, if for whatever crazy reason the Supreme Court doesn’t shoot this law down in a fiery explosion of unconstitutional ICBM’s, you better discriminate to the full extent of your religion or God may deduct points for being too selective. Don’t just pick out the parts you know make you uncomfortable. Don’t stop at gay people – give the whores, the deformed, the Sabbath workers, the blasphemers, adulterers, and all other sinners alike the same privilege of denying them service from your self-righteous entitled establishment.
If you are wondering why there may be a war on religion, it’s because laws like this are enacted with such religious undertones, there’s no choice but to strike back to restore the balance: there is freedom of religion, and freedom FROM religion. You may feel like you can establish a business and discriminate because you happen to subscribe to a religion that condones such actions, but this is a false assumption. You are free to practice your religion without fear of being prosecuted for it. You can even do so in institutions that don’t have to pay taxes. You cannot, however, discriminate against anyone seeking a service from a business you are ALLOWED to operate in this country. It is not your inalienable, god given right to operate a business in this country, it’s a privilege. One that can be taken away if you do not treat everyone as equal.
